I have been reading the psychological thriller by Feodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment. Not of my own free will, mind you. It was a requirement for my Russian Literature class. Yesterday, we had a visiting professor come in to discuss his perceptions of the novel, as well as ways that he taught it to his classes in the past. He brought up an aspect of the novel that we had not yet considered. Many of the characters in the story are presented with a very striking dichotomy in their behaviors. For instance Porfiry Petrovich, a Russian detective, has a very rational mentality, and is given to intense spirituality. The character I chose to discuss was that of Sonya, a young girl who chose prostitution in order to provider for her siblings. Although she is living in such blatant sin, she is a deeply devout Orthodox Christian, who recognizes her sinful state.
Now, after all the technical details, the professor asked us to consider any dichotomies in our own lives. Not something that was easy to do on such short notice. But, I did come up with a list of about 3. Though not on the level of rational/spiritual, or sinner/saint, my dual natures are just as interesting, I think. My deals with speaking. I have no trouble at all speaking in front of people. In fact, I am a very outspoken individual (I know, you don't believe it, but it's true). Put me in front of a group of people, 5 or 500, and I could talk for hours, well...maybe an hour and a half. But, and here's the duality, I cringe at the thought of one-on-one confrontations. It doesn't matter who it is, it could be a stranger, or my best friend, and I still fear confrontation, to the point where I will become physically ill.
I'm not sure if anyone else finds this as intriguing as I do, or not. But I am putting a challenge out to all those in blog land who read corismindlessponderings. What is a dichotomy in your own character, two seemingly incompatible aspects that reside within one shell (uh, that's you). May not seem interesting to you guys, but this is what nerds sit around doing all day. Fun, huh???
Out of fairness, I will respond to the challenge I received a while ago concerning eight things people don't know about me.
1. I love watching cartoons, more so than 'real' movies.
2. I know 95% of the words to 98% of the songs in the Veggie Tales movie catalog.
3. I actually enjoy being able to read things written in dead languages.
4. I really want to have more kids. As much as I can't stand kids, I really do long to have more, and to be able to actually experience and enjoy a pregnancy. Guess I'll be waiting a bit on that.
5. I hate the telephone. Whatever happened to writing a well thought out letter and experiencing the anticipation of waiting for correspondence from a loved one, or claiming that the letter from the bill collector, or the annoying relative, got "lost in the mail."
6. I'm a republican. If you know me, you know that is a profound self-realization.
6b. I hate politics!!!!!
7. I have a shoe fetish, which for someone with a size 11 wide, that is a very difficult indulgence.
8. I see dead people.
Hehehe, ok, not really.
8. I find men in uniform irresistible. That's what I get growing up on a military base surrounded by men in uniform.
Well...now you can fulfill your challenge. And this is probably alot more than you wanted to ever know about me. Oh well.
Godspeed!!!
sometimes senseless ramblings of an overly zany mind...
Thought of the day
For You know my inmost being. You kit me together in my mother's womb. Your works are wonderful; I know that full well.
2 comments:
To give this post the in-depth thinking it required, I had to save it and come back later to digest it. I have a couple thoughts (that is all I am allowed per day, now I am done):
1. I do not believe that rationality and spirituality are a dichotomy in your personality. I believe that Paul proved that. The two traits in a personality do require more in-depth study and thought for complete faith, but they are certainly not in opposition of one another.
2.Is it just confrontation that bothers you or just talking to a person one on one? How would you feel if you stood in front of a group of 200 people and confronted them about behavior that you disagreed with? Would you be at ease, or would you also feel sick to your stomach? The difference may lie in the substance of the conversation, not the intended audience.
By the way, I hate confrontation too. And the older I get, the worse it gets. Especially if it is someone close to you.
3. I believe I found another dichotomy in your personality: you hate kids, yet you want more. Perhaps you could be a surrogate? ;) (kidding!)
However, I can completely relate to this feeling. When Taylor was younger and I was raising her alone,all I wanted to experience was a normal, Leave-it-to-Beaver, type family. Including the pregnancy where the husband runs out in the middle of the night to get ice cream. You miss that experience when you are single and a teenager.
By the way, I REALLY enjoyed this post. I need more opportunities to think, rather then "The cow says MOO". Thanks :)
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